No, this does not involve any actual feces. I was at Lauren Katz's apartment shortly after drinking a large bottle of that Safeway Select brand flavored carbonated water (wild cherry). Subsequently, I had to pee almost immediately upon arrival. I was admiring her little bathroom space and the variety of soaps and scrubs. I flushed the toilet and promptly began to wash my hands. Then I turned, ungracefully as ever, and knocked a large stick of Old Spice High Endurance deodorant into the swirling toilet waters. I sort of froze and watched it ride the wave round and round. I didn't want to stick my hand in with the stewing urine water, even though it was my own urine, and it was almost definitely pure wild cherry. I thought I could wait it out, there was NO way that stick of deodorant was going anywhere.
But then, the unthinkable occurred. The deodorant was completely swallowed by the toilet. It was sucked away to the mysterious place reserved for poo, wads of TP, tampons, and the occasional dead goldfish. I gasped and fell to the rug in shock. My toilet would NEVER manage this feat. The display of power... this was the little toilet that could. So now, all we can do is wait. Wait for something to happen. What do we do???? HELP
--post script--
After this insanity went down, I left Lauren's and her full bladder as she and Desmond awaited the arrival of the maintenance man. Apparently when the maintenance man came he spent a large amount of time trying to get the deodorant out, unsuccessfully. As a last resort, he had to manually take the toilet seat off the floor and shake it around to dislodge the old spice. Lauren recounted the episode to me as she prepared to mop the floor of her wrecked and smelly bathroom.
I AM SO SORRY LAUREN & DES
-Danielle
1 comment:
I hate you, Danielle. My toilet still flushes funny. Love, Lauren
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