Family Photos

The past of Owings Mills is certainly one of diverse origins, bloody wars, and long standing peace treaties. Much of the actual history has been lost and subsequently replaced by outrageous fictions including the presence of an actual Mill owned by a man of the surname Owings.

The town was originally a hideout for a rag tag team of outlaw pro-wrestlers, known for their violent ways. The wrestlers were also known for fighting amongst themselves in brutal civil wars highlighted by chair throwing and flamboyant spandex uniforms. The leader of the pack, shown below, led his bloodthirsty gang of men on a number of savage shopping sprees through the local Mall, which would eventually become a local hot spot during the times of peace and would later return to its original state of chaos, shootings and cheap department stores when the Third Treaty of Suburbia was broken in 2002. The Third Treaty of Surburbia was signed in 1988, two years after the Mall opened in '86, when Chief Jay Strongbow and self-proclaimed "Mall Maniac" Ivan Putski decided that the Mall should no longer be a place for battles to be fought, but a place where a man could shop in his underwear or full Native-American headdress without the threat of being caught by the Asian Mist, or a Moonsault. The two are shown below following the final signing ceremonies.
The term "Owings Mills" originated from a super secret wrestling move developed by Gorilla Monsoon, the appointed treasurer and policeman of the original gang. The move was first called "Owing Bills" because it was used by Gorilla to extract monies from people who chose to live under the protection and rule of the Chief and his cronies.

Eventually Treasurer/Policeman Monsoon would appoint debt collectors, the infamous masked duo, The Executioners, who had a difficult time saying making the "B" sound while wearing their masks. Hence the birth of the now used "Owings Mills."

The town saw a change for the better when the much beloved Bruno returned from his journeys abroad and took over as Mayor of Owings Mills. His glistening chest hair was a source of pride for the townsfolk and his friendly demeanor and diplomatic leanings helped to win him much approval from the other wrestlers.


However, it was not all smooth sailing for Bruno, or the entire pro-wresting community. In 1997, Fred Blassie assembled a party of men to oppose Bruno, and this action started the War to end all Wars.
Within two fortnights time, Owings Mills saw the end of pro-wrestling control, as all the wrestlers killed each other off in a veritable blood bath of faked blows and baby oil. All records were destroyed in a fire started by Scandor Akbar in a botched attempt to assassinate Bruno by secretly replacing his hair dryer with a blow torch.

The ghosts of the pro-wrestlers still lurk around the Mall, and though relatively little is known about the details of the final days of the wrestlers of Owings Mills, their growls can be heard on every second fortnight of the full moon.